lights

Just For Glee

A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony.

On his first day he took off his clothes and
started to wander around the area.

A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man
immediately got an erection.

The woman noticed his erection, came over to
him and asked, 'did you call for me?'

The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?'

She said, 'You must be new here. Let me
explain. It's a rule here that if you get an
erection, it implies you called for me.'

Smiling, she led him to the side of the
swimming pool, laid down on a towel eagerly
pulled him to her and happily let him have
way with her.

Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities.

He entered the sauna and as he sat down,
he farted.

Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered
out of the steam room toward him.

'Did you call for me?' asked the hairy man.

'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer.

'You must be new.' answered the hairy man,
'It's a rule that if you fart,
it implies that you called for me.'

The huge man easily spun him around, put
him over a bench and had his way
with the newcomer.

The newcomer staggered back to the colony
office where he was greeted by a
smiling, naked receptionist,
'May I help you?' she asked.

'Here's my membership card. You can have
the key back and you can keep the
$500 membership fee.'

'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only
been here a few hours. You haven't
had a chance to see all our facilities.'

'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only
get an erection once a month, but I
fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here.'

Religious Tolerance

This morning as I was trying to put some thoughts down in an essay on what the Christmas season means to me I did a web search on the winter solstice celebration and come across THIS SITE. It might be something some of you would like to browse through...I agree with their basic premise:

We do believe:
---In the inherent worth of every person. People are worthy of respect, support, and caring simply because they are human. Unfortunately, we have not reached a consensus on when human life, in the form of an ovum and spermatozoon, becomes a human person. On this matter, our lack of agreement mirrors that of society at large."

---In working towards a culture that is relatively free of discrimination on the basis of gender, race, sexual orientation, gender identity, religion, national origin, physical disability, age, body shape, etc.

There are of course some things they stand for that I do not, for example:

---In the importance of democracy within religious, political and other structures.


(Majority rule is great if you happen to be a part of the majority but I have seen that democracy always winds up with the users looting the producers...no social system that allows majority rule without protection of minority rights and opinions
will ever be successful in the long run. We are seeing the results of that majority rule in the USA today as the majority has decided to get their share of the wealth earned by others.)

But, in any event I linked the site for you...it is interesting reading and maybe some of you will enjoy it.

Sunday Morning Coming Down

It is a beautiful but chilly 37F degree morning on the home front...the sun is shining bright and no wind to speak of...one of those mornings that brings back wistful memories of a December morning in Oklahoma with a shotgun and a bird dog.

Have you ever walked across a pasture on a day when the air was crisp and the grass crunchy with ice so that it crackles when you step on it? Have you ever watched a German Short Hair Pointer run with her nose to the ground tracking a covey of Bob White quail...and then get that adrenalin rush when she skids to a three legged point?

Yeah, I have. I don't hunt anymore...I don't care anything about eating most wild game except for game birds and moose and there is just not that good of bird hunting in my part of Florida....and the only moose are in the capitol in Tallahassee. But that cold air this morning sure brought back some memories...some good ones and a few that are just memories.

I have some things to get done today...I am in the spirit of Christmas this year and I am going to put up some outside lights for the first time in a few years. I am going to string them after while and see if I have enough...may have to go get more. But that is okay....I like the Wally World manager and he needs his Christmas bonus. Heh, we have spent enough there this year to pay for it....

I worked some yesterday on a post for today...a post about Christmas..some of the history behind it and what Christmas means to me...a deist...and why I celebrate a Christian holiday. I may or may not finish it...but I will say just this now...the winter solstice celebration is older than Christianity but the reasons for the celebration are much the same...the year is about over, the years work done and it is now a time for giving and peace. You see, even the ancients knew that giving brought more joy and peace than receiving...

The jumpstart is hot and strong has activated the darvocet... my arthritic fingers are not making as many typos...maybe I will work on the essay some more after while.
But then maybe not...life is good my friends...I know my angel of the morning loves me...y'all come, heah?

Sorry Tiger, The Jokes On You

One: Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
Two: What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
Three: Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.
Four:: What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing
Five: Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
Six: Perhaps Tiger should be using a driver?
Seven: This is the first time Tiger’s ever failed to drive 300 yards
Eight: Apparently, Tiger admitted this crash was the closest shave he’s ever had. So Gillette has dropped his contract.
Nine: After a wayward drive, Tiger Woods found water before nestling behind a tree
Ten: Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife

Christmas Music

Probably most of you have seen this 'youtube' video of Christmas lights to music. I have posted it before as have about fifty million other people... LOL... but I enjoy seeing it over and over as well as listening to the music.

Good Morning Blog World

Another year about gone, huh? Less than three weeks to Christmas...maybe 19 more shopping days unless you are one of those who run to a raghead operated convenience store on Christmas morning to grab quick gifts...then you can say you got 20 shopping days. No, the picture is not of a tree of mine...just one I lifted from the net...pretty though huh? I will post a picture of my tree later...

I am not doing the link...look it up...but the Obama people are claiming that the recession is about over because the job losses last month were only 11,000 instead of the over 100,000 expected...and Obama is taking credit for it. So, if money is tight because you are unemployed put the blame on Bush...but if you got yourself a temporary job during the holiday season thank Obama...right? GOOD GAWD GIRTY WHUT A GASH! The real unemployment rate which includes those who are underemployed and those who have just gave up is over 17 percent. Strange to me how the dim-a-crits led by Obama and the bitch Speaker of the House can blame Bush when the dim-a-crits have been in control of congress now for three years. And seems I remember things starting to go downhill fast when the bitch took over the Speaker job...and I tell you this: As long as the dim-a-crits run the country it will not get any better! The GOP might be able to hold static but the fucking socialists will break the republic.Hell, I fear they already have broken it beyond repair.

Enough...gotdam! I promised myself I was not gonna rant this morning.

I am going to go to the village today and buy myself a Christmas present...NO! Not a new pistol although I saw a couple that tempted me. And no, I got all the fishing stuff I can use right now. I need a new chair for my office desk. My lard ass used to break them down in a few months so I gave up on the executive type arm chairs on wheels that I like. But now that I am at 210 lbs I might be able to sit in one for a while without the damn thing folding up on me.

Yeah, I know I am just rambling here this morning...damn hard not to rant after reading the news. But is is a good morning! I am starting to get in the Holiday spirits and even have dug out the lights to put in the trees outside!....if it ever quits raining... And may get another couple of hundred feet of lights while I am out today. I am refusing to let the government get me down, see? Life is what you make it and I know my angel of the morning loves me. Y'all come, heah?

Good Morning Blog World

Obama is forced to admit that there is not much he can do to help the economy as long as his social programs are being shoved up the butts of business...when told Fred P. Lampropoulos, founder and chief of Merit Medical Systems Inc., that the Obama prgrams were the problem Obama replies:

“This is a legitimate concern,” one that he and his advisers had discussed before he took office.

But Mr. Obama said he had decided that “if we keep on putting off tough decisions about health care, about energy, about education, we’ll never get to the point where there’s a lot of appetite for that.”

So there you have it in Obama's words...his socialist agenda is more important to him than the lives of the families his socialist programs are destroying. How much longer will the voters stand for this
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Authorizing the use of the C.I.A.’s drone program in Pakistan’s lawless tribal areas is about the only thing that I can see that the Obama administration has done right. But it is not enough. These drones should be used to put bullets into the heads of every radical Mullah on earth. The best way to kill a snake is to cut off its head and the mullahs are the head of the snake. They preach and teach hate use the teachings of Mohammad as justification for the preaching...wipe them off the face of the earth and maybe Islam can eventually go through a reformation just as Christianity did ... become nearly...just nearly though...compatible with freedom.
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Enough...the more I scan the new this morning the higher my blood pressure gets. DAMN! I am thinking of just stopping the shit part of this shit and wit and just publish wit...send me your favorites jokes and I might just do it! Be a hell of a lot easier than trying to write about Obama without cussing...damn. I am getting afraid to step on to a strange porch in fear his mother will jump out and bite me on the ankle.

It is daybreak thirty here on the homestead...looking out the window I see overcast and mist...supposed to rain off and on most of the day according to the weather quacks. I am going to cut this short this morning and take a mug of jumpstart to my easy chair under the live oaks and have a few words with the creator...got more than a few actually and all of them thanking her for my angel of the morning. Y'all come, heah?

WORTH THE READ...

New Christmas Poem

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF
PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
'SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY! COUNTRY, MY CORPS.'

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN 'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, 'CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE.'

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
'MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,!
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.'

This poem was written by a Marine.

Good Morning Blog World

The emperor is refocusing on the economy and appears to be listening to the plans of the socialists who run congress. These 'share the wealth' advocates are pushing another economic stimulus....probably much like the last one that did so much good...remember it? The one that created or saved over a million jobs....wink wink?

Most of the congression democrats are followers of the Keynesian economic theory... which in short is too spend other peoples money. The theory is that government pumps borrowed money into the economy which stimulates growth and recoups with taxes. On paper sounds pretty good but in practice seldom works well...for two reasons. The first is that to recoup government has to tax...and the general public is not going to stand for it so the ones taxed are those producing wealth and creating the jobs...in fact in the past the taxes on these people were confiscatory..90 percent! And capital investors have wised up and will not risk capital when the tax rates are too high. The second reason it seldom works is that the government pumps the money to the wrong places...giving it to state and local governments to blow may save some public employee jobs or even create some...but the long term effect is the need for more and more federal money to keep these jobs.

As you have probably realized I am no fan of the Keynesian theory...the best way to create jobs is to get back to what made the country the economic powerhouse it once was...get the hell off the backs of business. Level the playing field between business and labor...rescind many of the odorous labor laws that have raised the cost of doing business to the point that so many have went off shore. And probably the very best law that could be passed would be a National Right to work law...bust the damn unions and you will see a spurt in economic growth. And while congress is at it shit can the health bill, and all of the cap and trade and environmental bills on the table right now.

But in any event you can probably look forward to seeing another government check in your mail box...and if so you had best spend it while the money will still buy something...I am gonna use mine for lead!
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We had one hell of a rain and thunder storm here last night...started off with the rumble of artillery on the distant horizon that soon became K-FUCKING-BOOM over the top of my office! The windows were rattling aaaaaaaand the sound of the rain on the roof was deafening...and Little Sister aka "DONTGOTDAMMIT!" decided she had to pee...can't blame her I guess...those gotdam cannons use to scare the pee out of me too. The storm just lept coming in squalls off the gulf for a couple of hours...but can't complain..needed rain and as far as I can see nothing washed away.

I am gonna go fishing after while...got a hankering to drown a shrimp and maybe have some fun with some Mangrove snapper. I found a spot of a cause way that was loaded with juvie snapper the last time I was there...I fed them until I run out of bait. I am hoping that they went home and told their big brothers about the free lunch...see snappers are all democrats...the word gets out fast.

Yep, life is great people. Got rain, going fishing and thus far still have the freedom to talk bad about that phony in the oval office. My angel of the morning tell me every day she loves me...what else could a man want? Y'all come back, heah?

ADDED: I see some typos...my fingers hurt this morning...jumpstart and darvocet ain't kicked in yet..so sue me.