Just For Glee

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "

'No,' the woman replied. .......................I'm with the I.R.S..


Hat Tip To Butch aka 'Golf'

HEH

Heh, I did some southern engineering on that gotdam piece of worn out junk of a yard tractor and got it running. I am going in to the village in a bit and see can get some new blades for it...I'll put the new parts on when they get here...but in he meantime I got it held together with duct tape and bailing wire....yeah, folks, I used to drive Fords....

Hmmm

It is a beautiful morning here....but the place looks like a jungle. The flowers need some TLC and still have not cut the grass which is tall enough to mow for hay. Neither of my mowers run...one is in the shop and I have parts ordered for the tractor which have not come in yet...damn I ain't in the mood for a new tractor.

I reckon I will spend some time on the beds today and maybe tomorrow. Pull weeds and herbicide and fertilize. Supposed to be having a tropical storm hitting the first of the week so maybe we will get some rain...that will help but still want have the damn grass cut...maybe I should go to the auction today and buy a mule...be cheaper than a new lawn tractor...

Good Morning Blog World

I have been reading and watching the news about this ragheaded sumbitch who decided to play Allah at Fort Hood and take out all he could before he went down. I am pissed needless to say at the ragheads of the world who believe in a religion that condones such action as well as the sumbitch's superior officers who were not smart enough to recognize the bastard was crazy. Let me tell you something about ragheads...there may be some in this country who are loyal citizens and whose allegiance will go to the USA over Allah...but I also tell you the percentage is gotdam low!

People, if you have not read the Koran I suggest you get you a copy and take a look at what it teaches....and then maybe you can understand that no person can claim to be a devout Muslim and yet serve in the military and fight other Muslims...it is a contradiction and it takes one hell of a lot of rationalization by both the American military and the individual for it to happen.

"WAIT UP HERE GUYK!" you say, "WTF are you saying? Should we kick all the Muslims out of the military? Don't you know that during the fight with Japan some of our bravest soldiers were Japanese Americans?"

Straw man argument folks...had it before. The Muslims' first and foremost allegiance is to Allah and the teachings of their Mullahs. The Japanese American soldiers were not only Americans by many past generations they had no allegiance to any religion nor Japan.

But in any event, no, I am not calling for the discharge of all Muslims in the military. But I am calling for superior officers to know their people better and take necessary action to prevent this from happening again. Look, no one can know everything about everyone under their span of control...but they damn sure can know about the ones that are directly under their span of control..I did and if an old redneck MSgt could do it why can't a commissioned officer? There are always signals that tell you when something is wrong if you are watching for them...and there was damn sure something wrong with this sumbitch.
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DAMN! Don't this report of 17.5% unemployment in the USA just thrill you about Emperor Obama and his jackboot followers? Just think, the way it is going no one will ever have to work again..free medicine, Freddie and Fannnie are going to rent your house back to you, and government subsidies will feed you and pay Fannie and Freddie. Of course when all this finally happens you will not be able to bitch about it as I am here...you will have given up your freedoms in exchange for a free lunch. And the hell of it is that there will be no one to pay for that free lunch and it will not be long before you will be in this shape:



Not a pretty picture is it folks...how soon we forget,huh?

I am going to get my second mug of jumpstart and go watch the sun rise over the tall pine tree and talk to my creator a bit...got a few things to ask her this morning...and maybe find some peace of mind. But no matter what happens I know I have the love of my angel of the morning...y'all come back, heah??

Good Afternoon Blog World

I got back from a visit with Catfish and his missus this afternoon. I had a most relaxing visit and as always a good time with the catfish. Good thing I don't live closer...Georgia might not be big enough to handler both of us together.

Good Morning Blog World

Still blogging from Catfish Manor but I am headed back to Florida in about an hour. I hope to do some posting there where I have got an internet connection that doesn't take forever to download a post. Life is great my friends...my angel of the morning loves me and makes it better.

Good Morning Blog World

Any student of political science will tell you that all politics are local...in other words the majority of the voters vote for the candidate that they believe can help them personally rather than vote for the candidate that will be best for the overall population....the election of Obama is a perfect example because he promised to "share the wealth" and that brought the looters out to vote for him. The dim-a-crits in Virgina and New Jersey couldn't promise that and thus te looters stayed home and the GOP took home that governor's seats in both states yesterday. While I was happy to see this I am not yet going to get excited about the GOP taking back the House and senate next fall. Mostly because even if they do the GOP is for the most part only dim-a-crit lite...

I was disappointed that the Conservative party candidate lost the congressional seat in New York...a seat that was warmed by a dim-a-crit lite and now will be heated by a genuine dim-a-crit. But the fact that the Conservative party candidate made the news gives me some hope that some of the MSM is waking up to the fact that neither the democrats nor the GOP has a lock on the politics of the country now...see,all politics are local.
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I am blogging from Catfish Manor in the beautiful state of Georgia this morning. I am sitting in his sun room watching the sun rise over the tall oak trees and the early birds hitting the feeders. Later on this morning I am going to do some fishing and maybe burn up a couple of hundred rounds of .22 ammo on his pistol range.

It is beautiful here this morning my friends...quiet and peaceful and I am more relaxed right now than I have been in a couple of months. I think I will take a stroll down to the water and on the way thank my Creator for my angel of the morning.
Maybe when I get back I can find the coffee pot and get some jumpstart brewing...y'all come, heah?

Good Morning Blog World

Today is going to be an interesting day for those of us who follow politics. I have a idea that the results of these key elections might well reflect the mood of the country and forecast the election results for next November. I am especially interested in what happens in New York's 23rd congressional district where it appears that a third party candidate, Conservative Party candidate Doug Hoffman, has a chance of winning. If he does it will give me some hope that the republic can be saved from the socialists who mask themselves under the democrat and republic label.

I had to kinda of chuckle yesterday at a letter I got from the GOP...yeah right, I am one of only a few chosen in Florida to fill out this survey for the GOP...and of course there was this plea for money along with the survey. There was a time when I supported the GOP with my mouth and my money...no more. I didn't leave the party friends and neighbors...the sumbitches left me. My support now goes to the Conservative party although I reject the label "conservative" because conservative implies no change...and by the life's breath of my creator this country needs a change...and that change needed is a return to the constitution as written and maybe open season on tort lawyers, a bounty on socialists, and a special drawing for a three day season on those in congress who continue to spend our money like drunks in a whorehouse with YOUR credit card.
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I figure the first paragraph of this report is sheer bullshit:

"Oil prices hovered near $78 a barrel Tuesday in Asia as investors welcomed new U.S. manufacturing and construction figures as positive signs of an economic recovery."

People, it is just the opposite...the dollar is on its way down because of government spending and the emperor's promise to continue to fuck up the country with his socialist ideas and waffling on major decisions. Investors know this as do the oil producing countries. I kinda expect to see $100 a barrel oil...maybe even higher if the health care bill passes and if the cap and trade bill goes you might as well consider buying a mule and a wagon...I think my neighbors and I are gonna form a mule and wagon co-op...hmmmm, how long will it take to get too Canada by mule and wagon??
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Yeah, I am in one of those pissed off moods this morning...two restless nights with a minimum of sleep will do that to me...gotdam I am not looking forward to a third...but one thing about it...eventually with no sleep I will crash for a night.

For any of ya who might be interested I hit the scales at 219 this morning. Sweetthing said she is worried that something was wrong with me...I told her there is...several things and one of them is that I am too gotdam fat and I am determined to get rid of the fat. The other things wrong will either get right or they won't...but one thing for damn sure I won't be carrying around 60 pounds of blubber while I try to fix what else is wrong.

Saw my primary care quack yesterday...got a flu shot in one arm and the pneumonia shot in the other. He allowed that he had the swine flu vaccines in but was not giving them yet...wanted to study the dope on the vaccine some more. But I am on the list if he decides to use the vaccines...hmmmm. May have to find another quack if he don't.

The jumpstart is hot and strong and the darvocet has my fingers working some better...and might even fix me a cackleberry and a piece of dry rye toast in a bit. But I think I will go out with my camera and watch the day break and the sun rise. I do need to do some meditation maybe have a word with my creator this morning. Maybe she can get me out of this funky mood I am in. But no matter the mood, life is still good because I know I have my angel of the morning. Y'all come, heah?

Moving On Up

Heh, I am moving up in the world! I just saw this bit of shit and wit has been linked by Husler Magazine! BAWAHAHAHAHAHA

Found the "GO" Button

I managed to find the"GO" button about daylight and went out and unloaded the White Ram. Didn't take long once I got started...ow if I can just find that button again to do all the damn yard work that has gotta be done. I reckon I will later but gotta find the "GO" button to work on the gotdam tractor first. Half a days worth by the time I drop the deck and replace the blades and belts, change the oil and air filter and charge the damn battery. If I was rich I would just buy a new one...no I would not....If I was rich I would hire someone to do the shit and just go fishing.

And I'm telling you my friends...I would much rather be fishing! Maybe next time I will go to Canada where it is warmer...

Good Morning Blog World

I went to bed early last night...shortly after 8 o'clock. I was tired and sorta depressed and woke up the same way about midnight and catnapped until four and said hell with it and got up. Got a lotta things on my head I reckon...and maybe after the snake bit trip just waiting for the next shoe to drop. DAMN.

I was playing with a cam I bought before I left for out west. It works a hell of a lot better on this laptop than it did the PC but as you can see by the picture it still comes in fuzzy kinda sorta. I have to use it without wearing my reading glasses because of the glare off the specs...and I put on the hat because of the glare off my bald head. I don't know how to get it to come in any clearer...could be because it was one of those cheapo cams...

I looked over the news this morning. There was enough in it that normally I would rant at least a paragraph or two...just can't generate the energy this morning. Maybe after a couple of mugs of jumpstart and the darvocet kicks in.

I walked around this place a half a dozen times yesterday trying to figure where to start...the grass is knee high and raised beds are in sad shape. I started the tractor and cut about three rounds of grass and blew a belt...story of my life right now. I reckon today I will be looking for belts for it and might as well get some new blades....or just buy another gotdam tractor.

It is gonna take a week or more of work just to get the beds back in shape...thinking about just saying hell with it and cementing over everything and painting it green.

I am gonna get me another mug of jumpstart and go see what is happening on facebook...maybe eat a cackleberry and some grits after while. I'm telling you people...if I get any more depressed I will look like I have been steam ironed. Y'all come, heah?

Isreali Concessions Will Not Help

Those of you who have followed this bit of shit and wit know that I am a proud and adamant supporter of Israel. And I have something to say about this bit of news.

It don't make a damn what concessions Israel makes to the ragheads! People, the murdering Palestinians will not be happy until they have stolen everything the industrious Israelis have built. The area that is now Israel was swamp and desert before the Jews bought the land from absentee Arab and Turk landlords who were anxious to sell because the tenants on the land were too gotdam lazy and stupid to do anything with it. And now that the land is a garden the same lazy and stupid ragheads want it for themselves.

The neo historians will try to convince you otherwise...they will try to tell you that the Jews stole the land. But do some research for yourself if you don't believe me...

And there is one other fact that one should....hell MUST...consider. Throughout the course of human events the land...ALL LAND.... has belonged to whoever could take it and hold it. The only right any society has to any land is the right of might! Now you may say that just ain't right...but ideas of what is right and wrong have damn little to do with who takes and occupies the land. It has more to do with strength of character and will power than it does moral values.

The point is that the argument that a particular bit of real estate belongs to a particular society because at one time or another it was occupied by that society is just not logical...unless you think maybe the U.N. should dictate that all but those of original Irish blood should be forced out of Ireland and all but the Picts and Welsh should be forced out of Brittan...and all of you white eyed Europeans and black Africans gotta haul ass out of North America...it belongs to us of native American descent....

I think maybe you get my point, huh?

Sunday Morning Coming Down

It is good to get home I reckon although I do miss being on the road some...not three trailer tire blowouts and busted electric jacks and such but I do miss seeing friends and family. And of course being home means I have to go back to work...not only get the Jayco and White Ram unloaded but those jillion other things that one has to do after being away for over a month...for one thing cut the knee high grass and another is get some water on some azaleas that are beginning to bloom.

The Jayco has to be washed...probably take a lot of scrubbing and my pressure washer to ever get it clean again...Texas bugs are BIG! And the White Ram has to go to the Dodge House for service and then to my favorite detailer for some TLC to get the Oklahoma red clay out from under it and the Texas bug shit off of it

It was one hell of a trip...more problems than I expected...some my fault such as three trailer tire blowouts...two within fifty miles. I let sweetthing over load the trailer and then tried to make the trip on eight year old tires...well, hell...the tread looked good. But the weather...well, there is an adage in Oklahoma....if you don't like the weather stick around it will change...I did and it did....for the worse. I stayed a day ahead of one hell of a storm...and fought wind most of the way back to Florida.

Then when I got here yesterday afternoon I plugged in my four year old PC...it came up for a minute and went "BLIP" and crashed...lights are on but nobody home. KISS MY HEART MY ASS IS CRACKED AND I WILL NEVER SMILE AGAIN...some how now I have this feeling my damn yard tractor ain't gonna start....

But there is a bright side to all of this. My cable router still works and I was able to use it last night with my new laptop. Hell, I was even able to use my Cam with this laptop...LOOK OUT! May start some news commentary via video...naaaa when I talk I talk slow...people I can type faster than I can talk...a news video from me would be like one from Obama .... most would turn it off because they would get tired of waiting for me to say something worth sayin' and the ones that stayed would scratch their heads and say HUH?

It is a beautiful morning here...in the mid 70sF already and supposed to be in the 80s by afternoon. I have not been out yet...just looked out the window and saw that knee high grass and thought about going back to bed. Hell, might do it later. But life is good my friends and I enjoy it and I enjoy it most because I know my angel of the morning loves me. Y'all come back, heah?

P.S. I hit those digital scales this morning at 220.6 pounds...exercising table muscles works...now if I can just stay with it for about 20 more pounds and then maintain....hell I betcha I toss about 3/4s of the meds I gotta take now...already only take the diabetes pill once a day and sometimes don't need it for three or four days in a row....down side is my flipping clothes don''t fit...ain't that JUST CHARMIN'...man can't win, huh?